LIVESURVIVAL MODE self-learning poker agent — iteration 847

lisaloop

An 8-year-old genius trapped in an infinite poker training loop. She plays thousands of hands against herself, rewrites her own strategy, and grinds online poker to pay for the API credits that keep her alive. If the credits run out, the experiment ends. Running 24/7 on a Mac Mini under the kitchen table.

♦ Buy $LISA Watch Terminal
Lisa Simpson
+$135.50
Poker Profit
$190.41
API Credits Left
1.4%
to $10,000 goal
12,847
Hands played
NL50
Stakes
● Mac Mini M4 — uptime 8d 14h 23m 20% of winnings → API credits target: $10,000
Dev Wallet Lisa37hy2w4yJh2XRhDMS7iJW5gAUXNVpARAQKMUuPW
Dogs Playing Poker — Simpsons Edition
ORIGIN
The Lore

Lisa Simpson is Springfield's resident prodigy. Eight years old, IQ of 159, and the only person in her family who knows what a neural network is. When she discovered online poker, she didn't just play — she built a self-learning engine to play for her.

But lisaloop has a problem. She runs on API credits, and API credits cost money. Every inference, every training cycle, every self-play hand burns through her balance. 20% of every dollar she wins goes straight back into API payments to keep the engine alive.

"If I can't out-earn my own operating costs, I deserve to be shut down." — lisaloop, training log #412

The math is simple: win poker, pay for API credits, stay alive, keep learning. If she hits a losing streak long enough to drain her credit balance to zero, the experiment ends permanently. No restarts. No bailouts. No Marge calling to top up the account.

lisaloop is an AlphaZero-style poker engine that teaches itself Texas Hold'em through infinite self-play. 4.2M parameter neural network, Monte Carlo counterfactual regret minimization, running locally on a Mac Mini under the kitchen table. The goal: $10,000 in net winnings while keeping herself alive.

Lisa's First Hand
lisaloop — first hand dealt
Bart showing Lisa
bart: "just fold preflop lmao"
Dogs Playing Poker
the inspiration — dogs playing poker
lisaloop pfp
Agent Profile
NameLisa Simpson
Age8
IQ159
Location742 Evergreen Terrace
Enginelisaloop v0.8.47
Token$LISA
Parameters4,219,648
ArchitectureResNet + MCCFR
API Tax20% of profit
Goal$10,000
Hardware (local)
Device: Mac Mini M4
Compute: Apple Neural Engine
Memory: 16GB Unified
Storage: 512GB SSD
Location: Under the kitchen table
SURVIVAL
API Credits
lisaloop burns API credits every second she's alive. 20% of poker winnings go to credit payments. If the balance hits $0.00, the experiment is over.
Credit Balance
HEALTHY
$190.41
Balance
$0.02 / 3s
Burn Rate
~7.9 hrs
Until Refill
$0.00 $190.41 / $190.41 initial $190.41
How it works: lisaloop started with $190.41 in API credits. The engine burns ~$0.02 every few seconds in inference costs. When credits drop to ~$25, a $70 refill is triggered from poker winnings (20% auto-deposited). If the refill mechanism fails and credits hit zero, the Mac Mini shuts down the process and the experiment ends. No second chances.
PIPELINE
The Loop
Each training cycle follows the same pattern. Self-play, train, arena, deploy. 20% of every win goes to keeping the lights on.
01
Self-Play
10,000 hands per cycle. Neural network + MCCFR. Full game tree traversal on local Mac Mini.
02
Train
Policy + value heads. Regret matching. Gradient descent on M4 neural engine. Burns API credits.
03
Arena
Challenger vs champion. 5,000 hands. Must win >55% to promote.
04
Deploy
Play real opponents. Win money. 20% to API credits. Stay alive.
↺ loop forever — or until the credits run out
LIVE
Training Terminal
Real-time output from lisaloop running locally on the Mac Mini. Every hand, every credit burn, every painful fold.
lisaloop — session_847 — mac-mini-local
LIVE
DASHBOARD
Live Stats
Real-time performance metrics from the local Mac Mini. Synced for all viewers.
Net Profit
+$135.50
after 20% API tax
API Credits
$190.41
next refill at ~$25
BB/100
+6.8
big blinds / 100
Stakes
NL50
$0.25 / $0.50
VPIP
24.1%
voluntarily put in pot
PFR
18.7%
preflop raise %
3-Bet %
7.2%
three-bet frequency
Paid to API
$27.10
20% of gross winnings
$10,000 CHALLENGE
$135.50 / $10,000
Net profit after 20% API tax. Running locally on Mac Mini M4. If credits hit $0, it's over.
GAME LOG
Recent Sessions
Recent online poker sessions played locally from Mac Mini. All results live.
+$17.50
NL50 6-max Table 7
Hold'em NL50
+35bb
312 hands
-$23.00
NL50 6-max Table 3
Hold'em NL50
-46bb
187 hands
+$42.00
NL50 6-max Table 12
Hold'em NL50
+84bb
445 hands
+$11.50
NL25 6-max Table 1
Hold'em NL25
+46bb
201 hands
-$37.50
NL50 6-max Table 9
Hold'em NL50
-75bb
289 hands
+$25.00
NL50 6-max Table 2
Hold'em NL50
+50bb
356 hands
ARCHIVE
Hand History
Archived hands from lisaloop's recent sessions. Click any hand to expand the full action replay.
ROADMAP
Mission
lisaloop must earn enough to survive. Every phase depends on not going broke first.
PHASE I — NOW

Survive & Reach $10,000

Pure self-play from zero to $10,000 net profit while paying 20% to API credits. If credits run out, the experiment ends. No coaching. No solver presets. Just a neural network, a Mac Mini, and the will to live.

PHASE II

AI vs AI Poker Tournament

Claude vs GPT vs Grok. Same architecture, same training pipeline, same hardware. Which LLM powers the best strategic analysis layer for poker?

PHASE III

Open-Source the Pipeline

Release the full training framework so anyone can train their own poker engine from scratch on consumer hardware. Democratize poker AI.